I'm having a nervous breakdown!

Ok well... I took Dad (Step Dad) to the Dr. last week, and also for some tests. Thank goodness they are all in the same building. Whew!

The Dr. read his lab work from the visiting nurse, and said that he wanted him in the hospital immediately. I protested that this would take a long time, and I didn't think there was a need when all he needed was some fluids as usual. It takes up to 5 hours to get a bed in our great (rolling eyes) hospital. Anyways the Dr. left the room when Dad said no to getting admitted again. Then he returned, and agreed to let us sit in the office so the treatment could be done there. So we sat for about an hour while he got the fluid IV that he needed, and then we were on our way home. Another whew! I would have been stuck at the hospital with my extremely unsociable Dad for hours. On the way home he wanted to eat deadly food~ Atleast his appetite came back quick.

My mother is another story.

There are three of us kids, in my mother's part of the extended / blended family. With my sister being the shared child of the union. I'm the only one that has been doing anything out of the three. My brother only lives about 1/2 block from me (we don't talk... that's another story), and that is about a mile from their house. My sister moved her selfish ass far enough away so that she would never be on call. She is still only about an hour away. I fought with her during the week about coming down and visiting with them for a day on the weekend. Why do I have to do it all. I know that sounds selfish, but WTF!

My sister was supposed to come down on Sunday, so that I could spend some time with Pete. She left a message on Saturday night that my mother got nasty with her on the phone, and she wasn't going to waste her time. Waste her time?? That is her Daddy!! Like I said WTF??

I don't want to come out like the better person, or shine like a star. I just don't want to go into therapy myself. I've been handeling the late night wants, and needs from ice packs to snacks. I've been doing the grocery shopping. Cat feeding. Garbage disposal. WTF??

Yesterday my daughter went with me to get some groceries for my Mom, after I got reemed out for not being home on Sunday. I got there, and we were chatting with her for about a half an hour, then she shows me these welts / rashes she has on her. My mother thinks she has shingles... Geez couldn't you tell me this shit on the phone?? I practically ran out of the house when she showed me her crotch. Enough is enough!! I need help!!

My husband is fantastic in the support that he gives me, because he knows I am on shakey ground. He listens to all of the shit that I unload on him. I guess that is why he is my best friend. He told me that I should just make sure they are ok by way of phone, and leave the groceries at the door. That's it just leave. When Dad needs to go to the Dr. he can get a cab, till I know what my Mother has.... and no she won't go to a Dr.

I can't jepordize my own health and family as well. Can I? My brother, and sister are leaving this all on me, and it isn't fair at all. My brother I can understand, cause he has three little ones. Wait till I get that little bitch of a sister on the phone though. She is nothing but a spoiled little c..t~ Sorry hate the word, and starting to hate the person attached to it.

Sorry for dumping... if you read the whole thing. I just needed to get it all out.