Thursday, July 27, 2006


This was updated, due to spelling errors, and ramble. Sorry still rambling.

Bullies - This pertains to any of you assholes out there. Young & old alike.

I will try and explain what it felt like to be me as a kid, and my expertise with the bully dept. When all is said here that is the last I will speak of it on here ever. I have better things to do with my life.
(and please don't shed a thought that I am looking for sympathy, I'm not)

We moved around from city to city when I was a kid, and I never made good friends. We even went so far as another state. Georgia. I think that is the only place I loved. Things just didn't work out there either for the grown ups.

My mother couldn't figure out what she wanted in life. So life was very hard for my brother, and myself. While she searched for a mate who would just *love* to settle down with two half grown kids, we were constantly being put in new schools (I think 10). We didn't have a choice. We didn't wear the nice clothes that the other kids wore. Nah... we wore what we were told to wear, and it usually came out of a bin.We never fit in anywhere without a lot of wit, personality, or ass kissing. Usually that didn't work for very long, there was always somebody waiting to hurt your feelings because you weren't as good as they were. The rejection sucked so bad, that I can still feel it today just like it was yesterday. It's in my bones, and I am defensive because of it.

I don't trust very easy either. I'm sure many of you have gone through this very same thing. I'm sure it isn't a new sob story. I don't want it to appear that way either. Don't ever feel sorry for me. This isn't that type of blog post. I may come off cold, but that is why I am explaining why. I don't want sympathy. Never did like the stuff.

Needless to say to those that can relate is that, my brother and I were bullied. We were bullied on the way to school, we were bullied in school, we were bullied at lunch time and we were bullied on the way home from school. Home was always our safe little haven to close the door, and lock ourselves away. We were better known as what some would call latch key kids. My mom had to work to feed us after all. You have to respect a Mom for that.

Don't get me wrong we had a lot of fun, and got into a lot of innocent kid trouble together in those days. We had crafty minds even then. We knew that we needed to use our energy for something that made us feel better, and forget our dreary day. We would do all sorts of things from building forts, to go carts, to playing board games, beating on one another, or cooking up some bottle caps on the stove. We were the envy of many neighborhood kids that were friendly, with our cool bottle caps.

With the happiness their also was the torment. The bullies were relentless, they always managed to take the happiness away. I would often find myself being scowled at, laughed at, or looked at (in that funny way) by girls that thought they were better. I didn't know any better at that time. Even though I was sometimes very scared I wouldn't show it. Even though I wanted to cry I would never dare do it. At that time in my life I learned a bad thing. Cower, and surrender~ Be scared, and don't fight for yourself. Any happiness that was felt, was always crushed by these mean little human beings that could be really big assholes. They never had anything better to do it seemed. Why didn't their parents bother to raise them to be kind?

I am glad I didn't raise my daughter to be rude, unfriendly, or unkind. I always told her to try and make the new kid at school feel welcome. Explaining how bad I once felt. Another thing I taught her was to never take shit from anyone, and to this day she doesn't. I'm extremely fortunate that I was able to be a full time Mom, unlike my own Mom who needed to work. She worked like a dog in a machine factor making coats for a living.

Now that I am an adult that seems to have changed. I'm not a bully, but I will not tolerate any kind of abuse. I think I learned this valuable lesson sometime around when I turned thirty. I will not, and cannot be abused anymore by anyone (especially invisible people on the internet). I can't even tolerate watching other people being bullied. It's horrifying for me to watch and not do something. I can't explain why, but I can't just do nothing. I nearly went crazy on someone in my family that verbally attacked my sister once. I don't care very much for my sister, but I couldn't allow it to happen. To this very day I do not bother with that person in my family that attacked her. That person is my Sister In Law~ It's been about 9 years now that I haven't spoke to my brother over the situation, because after all it is his wife. I miss him terribly. He is my Irish twin (born a year apart), and I feel as though my heart is not the same without him.

You could say it is a family thing, but I do it for all people. I even make faces at mean people, that treat grocery clerks like dog shit, when they are only doing their job. It usually makes the clerk smile. That's my goal. To make people smile. :) Even though I don't come off that way in words, that is the way I am.

Back to the bullies:

I wasn't going to ever get involved in anything again at DOD, but it happened. The bully has been being good in the closet without me posting. Now they are allowing Liz to take charge. Wrong~ You can't allow people to be hurt in open public like that. Don't tell me your misunderstood. I understand you perfectly as do other's. Owner's of boards shouldn't allow people to gang up on other's, and publicly humiliate them. It is wrong~ Especially when the gang is moderators, because the owner of the board is also one of them (3 bullies). No one is willing to step up for the victim usually, this time her friends did. It is wrong. I let things go with the problems concerning me, and no one stuck up for me because they didn't know me. That is understood. Liz never forgot to watch every move I made, or high five someone after they did it to me. Yeah if you look at the time line of when I had my last online disagreement with someone, she posted in the five grateful things thread right after she ganged up with the person. Her grateful thing was that she loved the person. That's it. No other four things to be grateful for. She just loves being rotten.So I decided to get quiet, and do other things in my life. In the mean time she found fresh meat, and it was some one that was respected, and a person that liked her, knew her, and fought for her. It is wrong on so many levels it isn't funny. It's serious! I was banned, as was Sarah (Kinky) for voicing my opinion. Other's left in disgust on their own! I knew this would happen... I was warned wayyyy ahead of time. I'll admit I didn't know Liz well enough, and thought I could avoid her. I should have made the choice to never go near that board. I recommend that other's don't either. I realize that there will be curiousity. Your all just waiting for it to happen again. Does that really make you a better person than Liz? Trust me... it will happen again.

Oh she loves to make fun of other's off the private DOD board as well, and continuously reminds you that it is sacred not to let anyone know that they are being made fun of. They are pretty defensive over there. If you would like to know if you were a target get in touch with me, I'll let you know.

I would never defend Liz to anyone! Ever! As a matter of fact I never did. I just didn't, and don't like Crochetville's generic "sunshiney day" attitude, and still don't. Also I missed Kari, but now that I know she is a bully (because that is what they titled themselves for a day or so: I'm a bully, I'm a bully too), I have no respect for her now. She never returned the friendship to me anyway. Bullies always travel in packs of two, or more.That best friend of hers will stick it to her... sooner than later.

In my message box was a message from a gamer that I have played cards with in the past. I can't stand forwards unless they are good. When I read the words, I knew they were fitting in this situation. (I have nothing against special needs people, so please don't flame me) It was a count down to things that gamers don't like.

This was #4, and I thought about Liz immediately:

Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.

(Once again this was meant as sarcasm, and I didn't write it, but I realize that it could hurt someone's feelings. Please don't take it that way!)

Good night, and good luck to all that stay on that board. I hope you don't get in the Almighty Liz's path. She just might eat you alive... but then again you might be someone that picked on me in school. In that case you deserve it. hahaha

Remember if she pisses you off... call her Liz! :)


Lynlee said...

Bullies suck. Bah.

Good for you for standing up for the little guy.

DixieRedHead said...

Sweet, Sweet Kelly! TAGGGGGGGGGGG! I went off on this tangent this morning adding people to my bloglines so I could keep up with them... dug round till I found you, and then forgot to add u to my tag list. *HUGS* will u overlook me? PWEASEEEE? So TAG ur it!