Thursday, July 27, 2006

Bullies~

This was updated, due to spelling errors, and ramble. Sorry still rambling.

Bullies - This pertains to any of you assholes out there. Young & old alike.

I will try and explain what it felt like to be me as a kid, and my expertise with the bully dept. When all is said here that is the last I will speak of it on here ever. I have better things to do with my life.
(and please don't shed a thought that I am looking for sympathy, I'm not)

We moved around from city to city when I was a kid, and I never made good friends. We even went so far as another state. Georgia. I think that is the only place I loved. Things just didn't work out there either for the grown ups.

My mother couldn't figure out what she wanted in life. So life was very hard for my brother, and myself. While she searched for a mate who would just *love* to settle down with two half grown kids, we were constantly being put in new schools (I think 10). We didn't have a choice. We didn't wear the nice clothes that the other kids wore. Nah... we wore what we were told to wear, and it usually came out of a bin.We never fit in anywhere without a lot of wit, personality, or ass kissing. Usually that didn't work for very long, there was always somebody waiting to hurt your feelings because you weren't as good as they were. The rejection sucked so bad, that I can still feel it today just like it was yesterday. It's in my bones, and I am defensive because of it.

I don't trust very easy either. I'm sure many of you have gone through this very same thing. I'm sure it isn't a new sob story. I don't want it to appear that way either. Don't ever feel sorry for me. This isn't that type of blog post. I may come off cold, but that is why I am explaining why. I don't want sympathy. Never did like the stuff.

Needless to say to those that can relate is that, my brother and I were bullied. We were bullied on the way to school, we were bullied in school, we were bullied at lunch time and we were bullied on the way home from school. Home was always our safe little haven to close the door, and lock ourselves away. We were better known as what some would call latch key kids. My mom had to work to feed us after all. You have to respect a Mom for that.

Don't get me wrong we had a lot of fun, and got into a lot of innocent kid trouble together in those days. We had crafty minds even then. We knew that we needed to use our energy for something that made us feel better, and forget our dreary day. We would do all sorts of things from building forts, to go carts, to playing board games, beating on one another, or cooking up some bottle caps on the stove. We were the envy of many neighborhood kids that were friendly, with our cool bottle caps.

With the happiness their also was the torment. The bullies were relentless, they always managed to take the happiness away. I would often find myself being scowled at, laughed at, or looked at (in that funny way) by girls that thought they were better. I didn't know any better at that time. Even though I was sometimes very scared I wouldn't show it. Even though I wanted to cry I would never dare do it. At that time in my life I learned a bad thing. Cower, and surrender~ Be scared, and don't fight for yourself. Any happiness that was felt, was always crushed by these mean little human beings that could be really big assholes. They never had anything better to do it seemed. Why didn't their parents bother to raise them to be kind?

I am glad I didn't raise my daughter to be rude, unfriendly, or unkind. I always told her to try and make the new kid at school feel welcome. Explaining how bad I once felt. Another thing I taught her was to never take shit from anyone, and to this day she doesn't. I'm extremely fortunate that I was able to be a full time Mom, unlike my own Mom who needed to work. She worked like a dog in a machine factor making coats for a living.

Now that I am an adult that seems to have changed. I'm not a bully, but I will not tolerate any kind of abuse. I think I learned this valuable lesson sometime around when I turned thirty. I will not, and cannot be abused anymore by anyone (especially invisible people on the internet). I can't even tolerate watching other people being bullied. It's horrifying for me to watch and not do something. I can't explain why, but I can't just do nothing. I nearly went crazy on someone in my family that verbally attacked my sister once. I don't care very much for my sister, but I couldn't allow it to happen. To this very day I do not bother with that person in my family that attacked her. That person is my Sister In Law~ It's been about 9 years now that I haven't spoke to my brother over the situation, because after all it is his wife. I miss him terribly. He is my Irish twin (born a year apart), and I feel as though my heart is not the same without him.

You could say it is a family thing, but I do it for all people. I even make faces at mean people, that treat grocery clerks like dog shit, when they are only doing their job. It usually makes the clerk smile. That's my goal. To make people smile. :) Even though I don't come off that way in words, that is the way I am.

Back to the bullies:

I wasn't going to ever get involved in anything again at DOD, but it happened. The bully has been being good in the closet without me posting. Now they are allowing Liz to take charge. Wrong~ You can't allow people to be hurt in open public like that. Don't tell me your misunderstood. I understand you perfectly as do other's. Owner's of boards shouldn't allow people to gang up on other's, and publicly humiliate them. It is wrong~ Especially when the gang is moderators, because the owner of the board is also one of them (3 bullies). No one is willing to step up for the victim usually, this time her friends did. It is wrong. I let things go with the problems concerning me, and no one stuck up for me because they didn't know me. That is understood. Liz never forgot to watch every move I made, or high five someone after they did it to me. Yeah if you look at the time line of when I had my last online disagreement with someone, she posted in the five grateful things thread right after she ganged up with the person. Her grateful thing was that she loved the person. That's it. No other four things to be grateful for. She just loves being rotten.So I decided to get quiet, and do other things in my life. In the mean time she found fresh meat, and it was some one that was respected, and a person that liked her, knew her, and fought for her. It is wrong on so many levels it isn't funny. It's serious! I was banned, as was Sarah (Kinky) for voicing my opinion. Other's left in disgust on their own! I knew this would happen... I was warned wayyyy ahead of time. I'll admit I didn't know Liz well enough, and thought I could avoid her. I should have made the choice to never go near that board. I recommend that other's don't either. I realize that there will be curiousity. Your all just waiting for it to happen again. Does that really make you a better person than Liz? Trust me... it will happen again.

Oh she loves to make fun of other's off the private DOD board as well, and continuously reminds you that it is sacred not to let anyone know that they are being made fun of. They are pretty defensive over there. If you would like to know if you were a target get in touch with me, I'll let you know.

I would never defend Liz to anyone! Ever! As a matter of fact I never did. I just didn't, and don't like Crochetville's generic "sunshiney day" attitude, and still don't. Also I missed Kari, but now that I know she is a bully (because that is what they titled themselves for a day or so: I'm a bully, I'm a bully too), I have no respect for her now. She never returned the friendship to me anyway. Bullies always travel in packs of two, or more.That best friend of hers will stick it to her... sooner than later.

In my message box was a message from a gamer that I have played cards with in the past. I can't stand forwards unless they are good. When I read the words, I knew they were fitting in this situation. (I have nothing against special needs people, so please don't flame me) It was a count down to things that gamers don't like.

This was #4, and I thought about Liz immediately:

Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.

(Once again this was meant as sarcasm, and I didn't write it, but I realize that it could hurt someone's feelings. Please don't take it that way!)

Good night, and good luck to all that stay on that board. I hope you don't get in the Almighty Liz's path. She just might eat you alive... but then again you might be someone that picked on me in school. In that case you deserve it. hahaha

Remember if she pisses you off... call her Liz! :)

Like it bothers me Liz!

You have been banned for the following reason:You Pissed David Off
Date the ban will be lifted: Never

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Put it to bed~

Ok, I'm putting to bed the idea that has been rolling around in my head lately. That idea was to just mosey on my way, and stop my blog completely. I just haven't been having fun with it. Well I ... put that idea to bed. Hence~ the title.

Many people in the blogging community lately, especially the craft community have been quite vicious with comments, critism, and just out right cruelty. No that has not happened on my little slice of the web that I call home. It has been going on at my friends home's. I don't like it. Why can't everyone just get along?

When someone needs to just sit, and type out anything that is coming out of their hearts, and heads it doesn't mean that they need a comment posted. Unless in my case it does come from a person that I consider to be a friend. If I don't know you, please do us both a favor:

1.Read if you wish (you are cordially invited into my home here)
2.Leave a comment if you have some constructive advice
3.Email me if you feel the need, .....or
4.Please get on with your own life, and don't come back~

I am a pretty decent, and easy going person in real life. Unless you piss me off. However I am an even harder person to get along with on the computer. First of all I hardly trust anyone on the computer. So if you get me riled on here I will and do lash out. I am pretty literate which is a handy thing to be on the computer, and pretty much enjoy being left alone unless your intelligent, and friendly. If cornered... well... I'm pretty much like my cats. Don't do it! I do strike back, and pretty harmfully. Hisssssssss

I haven't been very crafty for a while now. I've been trying to clean up the house, and garden. I'm also really itching to get my daughter's old bedroom cleaned up once and for all, and take over the space. Something always seems to get in the way of this happening though. I think that I mentioned once before that it has a magnificent view of NYC from her room (the attic). There really is no better place for inspiration. Besides that fact there is so much room! I really need to spread out with my books, and shit up there. Some place where the husband can't call me a slob. I do have to admit that I did tell him I would share half of the space. We'll soon see about that one. hehehe Actually I'm just joking, he can have whatever space he wants. We just need to disperse of the mess in the house from renovations. It looks as though I have a flea market going on in the dining room. Antique's are strewn everywhere. YIKES...

My daughter celebrated her 22nd birthday on the 8th of July. We had a really nice bbq in the back yard. There was just five of us which made it really nice, and cozy. We bought lots of food, and basically only ate the appetizers. It was all good, cause we had plenty for the next day.

My daughter, and I went out for a shopping excursion 2 days before the big 22. This is a new tradition that we have started in the past few years. This way she gets somethings that she likes. She picked out a ton of cds that she has been dying to get. Then we bumped (should I say she pushed me) into the video game area. Some place I should never be let loose in. Anyway what turned into looking for one thing, wound up with her getting a cute Nintendo DS. We are big Sims freaks (daughter and I), so she needed that game to go along with it of course. Anyway it turned out to be a great shopping trip for her, and a big bill for me. Hey~ you only turn 22 once, and she is my only child by choice. :) Mommy & Daddy loves you Chris.

I definetly will put my seal of approval on the new Nintendo DS. The price can't be beat for this tiny little computer. Yes computer! It's fantastic for adults as well as kids. They have this new game that you can purchase that is supposed to keep your brain working (Brain age). When I pay her's off, I'll be getting my own. Yes... yes... yes... I am a big time gamer myself. At the ripe old age of forty something I love video games. I just treated myself to an old Nintendo game system, because I had tons of games in the basement that I couldn't use. The stupid pins inside my old one got dulled out, and thus it stopped working. Now I can happily say my daughter has game envy of me, and Super Mario! LOL Next I think I will try and find a Genesis, or Colecovision (hope I didn't spell that wrong, but sure that I did). Ebay is one of my closest friends.

As of late I have been getting into my cats health issues, and have been doing it with home remedies. If your cat has an ailment let me know. We are batteling ear mites right now, and we are winning the fight! Yeah! I have been around cats all of my life, and pretty much know everything you could ever want to know. On my list of things to do is write a book about pet care. So... bring on the questions if you have them. Also send me some pics. I'd love to see your fur babies, and perhaps post some pictures.

Just wanted to let old friends, and new know I was still around, and intend on staying that way. Also I just purchased a shitload of glass supplies as well as yarn. So maybe you'll be seeing pictures of both soon.

If your name is mentioned please make a memo:
Yes Karen it is done!
Kenyetta the camera is on its way!
Janet I still love my husband!
Lynlee please email me, I wish that we could have met in person!

Peace out to all, and to all a good night~

Monday, July 03, 2006

Happy 4th!... ummm tomorrow

A shout out to anyone that really reads my blog!! Holla!!
Not much to say lately. I'm just here sometimes, and other times I'm not. Actually that is mentally as well as physically... lol
I'm just not happy lately, don't feel sorry cause I'm not depressed either. I'm just at wits end~
Have a "Happy 4th"! Be careful, and be safe! Don't drink, and drive!!!!!!
Peace out~