Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Packet of Pictures~

I really have to get some of my craftiness on this blog. It seems that it is turning more into a personal outlet, and that was not my original intention. Honestly people! Do you think I really want to bore you.

Anyway... my bio Dad died 2 years ago. This was due to Luekemia. I wished that it would have taken his life sooner, because he suffered very bad. He hated the word hospital. Wow you couldn't say that word. He lost much of his sight, speech, and movement all in the last year or so. I tried to visit as much as possible, but I know that it was never enough. My aunt Pat was taking care of him, and would call me now and again to say (basically) get your butt over here. I really didn't like going to his 2nd wife's home. The wife and I somehow managed to get along to help him with his journey, but I always felt uncomfortable. Every time I tried to visit while she was working she would show up. Therefore not having a visit with Dad, but a nosey visit with the wife. My heart still hurts, but I know that my Dad understood why I stayed away much of the time... I am my father's daughter. Many of his traits were genetically transferred into me. After the memorial for my Dad I completely severed all ties. A little more than a year passed, and then my Aunt Pat who lived with them died. I never went to her memorial, and I am sure that she understood as well. Family genetics is a bitch, isn't it? Especially when you are born stubborn, and Irish to boot.

I tried to contact my cousins on a few occasions with no success. My only request was pictures that were promised to me. I never got a response. I suppose they were mad at me for not coming to their Mom's memorial. I totally understand. Finally the other day I get a big package in the mail. It was all of my baby photos, and photos of when my parents were married. Pictures of my Grandma, and Grandpa. Happy Christmas times as well with aluminum trees. It hurt... I cried... I can now go on.

I know that I have no extended family, but they are not the only one's to blame... Stupid Irish blood!


Deneen said...

Don't "guilt" yourself up. I understand the thing with 2nd wives, etc and it's a sore point with myself and my husband-we have that problem on both sides. I tried and it didn't work out-end of story. I refuse to let it eat away at me-both sides can bend and if only one is willing, well.......

Be happy you have your pictures now and the happy memories-move on and learn from it.

Kenyetta said...

My dad died in 98, I have yet to get any pictures. I glad you got yours. Enjoy them!